That is a horrible mindset to seduce someone. In a marriage especially in your situation, you have to seduce the same way you seduce when you first met.

If you are 100% granted for her, signal your hopelessness at the same time and have no positive outlook, then you are lost. This is the mix, which keeps men (also exists the other way around, just happens more often with men) in the friendzone for ages. However friendzone is not a good wording, fanzone would be more appropriate.

What you are describing sounds like it is over anyway and it's not repairable (maybe it is, I dunno). The question is if in your "roommate" situation is also contempt and all the other ingredients for divorce. However you should try to fix it, because even if you accept your situation, because divorce is not an option, it makes it more likely you will still have a divorce. You should talk openly to your wife and explain the situation and if you are roommates and she wants this mode, then you can have a girlfriend and you should look for a girlfriend. Don't lock yourself in a situation which seemingly has no escape because you end up homeless, because that mindset will lead you to that divorce you are afraid of.